It's the small things

So today we've just received feedback from one of our major clients about a work done last week. You see the deadline was short and the work was considerable. I was aided by two of my colleagues who had a lot to do on their side but happily offered/agreed to help when asked. I was quite nervous on this job, being a control freak I wanted to control every aspect of it. But soon I decided to trust them and let them do it their way. The result was good. They did a great job, they felt free. I was relieved on some of the tasks and could really focus on my share. In the end the feedback received from the client was very good. So I felt like sharing some of the stuff I've learnt on this one.

1. Trust
Don't try to control everything. Granted it's your project and you would be the most accountable for it but people work better when they are not under pressure.

2. Preserve some humility
Don't go about bossing other people. Remain humble and thank them at each stage of the work. They are doing you a favour by collaborating on your project.

3. Make them feel valued
I'm not saying that they are not valuable in the first place. What you need to do is to show them how valuable they are to you. This will provide a boost for them to perform to their best. To make you feel proud in a sense.


I've always compared professional synergy to a romantic relationship. You gotta make people feel loved and cared for to make it work. That's no rocket science, it's just plain human relations.

Kindly, best regards

For the past seven months, I have been caught up. I still am. You see since January, I have been assigned to the Emirates branch of my organisation. Prospects seem good, but the thing is days are getting quite hectic. I got caught up in this sort of corporate mode of survival whereby you do anything in your power to be as effective as possible. At first I was resisting, I still am, but in a lot more intelligent fashion. Marx spoke about alienation of the human being at work, you are not yourself. The scary thing is that I am myself (at least a part of myself) when I am at work. I hate to admit it, but I love performing effectively. I love respecting our ISO standards and having everything planned out. It makes you feel in control. And suddenly I have become more demanding of others. I require that new hires be extremely attentive to details and rigorous. I require that they understand exactly what is at stake. This can't be good. I feel like I am betraying the person I used to be 3 years ago...

Wednesday, the paper fold.

Take a piece of paper and fold it in two exact parts. You see the line that is formed in the middle of the page? In my mind this line is Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday constitute the first part of the paper and Thursday and Friday make up the last part. Wednesday is just a milestone in the week. It helps you figure out where you stand and what remains to be done. 

I've never been an adept of "time management". When I was in high school and, subsequently at college, I've never been ahead of time on anything. I was always among the last ones to hand in my assignments and along with my group, we've spent a lot of sleepless night on the eve of a deadline just because we did absolutely nothing when we were supposed to work on the project in the first place.

I've never tried to read self-help books on time management and I never heed people's advice on how to better manage my time. I find the latter too personal and circumstance-based and the former too boring. 

The thing is, however, when I started working, something changed. I am responsible for my own work and for that of other people. This is the real thing, it is not a theoretical paper on the policy for a random company that will never be put into practice. The implications are real as well. And I am not in the least bit ashamed to say that the change was brought about my an important motivational factor: extrinsic motivation. Well, if you still haven't got it yet, I meant money! Nothing motivates you more (at least while you are still young) than the idea of being paid for doing your job effectively.

And so, some sort of adult and responsible biological clock started ticking, making me start planning my weeks in order to get things done on time. That paper fold on Wednesdays helps me to set things right until we reach Fridays. And you know what? Things are sometimes hectic but the stress is not there. It's not that I don't miss the rush of adrenaline that college days used to give me, but sometimes you gotta grow into a better version of yourself.

Vacations...

I've never been a "vacation-person". Every time I was on holidays the only place where I longed to be is the place where I get to spend less time: home. My idea of vacations has always been loose clothes, movies, TV shows, the net and anything else that makes you a good couch-potato. I never got the idea of a weekend "getaway". Why get away, when you can stay at home and be very happy about it.

However, I now stand corrected. I know why people go on vacations and I know why "getting away" can be something great sometimes.

Spending your holidays in an exotic place, especially with someone with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life, is a way to foresee what lies ahead. Quite a nutshell view, but I find it terribly useful.

Planned vacations teach you valuable life lessons such as:

1. Never overestimate certain things: You won`t actually eat or drink as much as you think you would. You might not have enough time to do all the activities you intended to do.

2. Unexpected things happen: The weather might not be ideal for swimming and it might just be too cold outside to do any outdoor activity.

3. Life is full of pleasant surprises: The food might surprise you or you might end up doing a walk that brings you to discover new things.

All in all I am happy we did it. And it might sound terribly cliché but home is really where the heart is.

Of pregnancy and abortion

I dreamt I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke.
Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a
butterfly dreaming that I am a man? - Chuang Tzu

When I first read this as a kid, I found it truly beautiful. I don`t know if it was because it involves a butterfly or dreams. Even though this is a parable on the interchangeability between appearance and reality, I often figure out that it can be used to help people who feel that their opinion is the ultimate truth. This goes along the same line as George Orwell`s concept of "doublethink" whereby a person`s mind understands and accepts two contradictory ideas/believes/thoughts.

Today I read the opinion of a girl, who, I suppose is a very religious person. She was quoting a holy text to support why she is against abortion. I respect people who are religious in the same way that I respect Twilight fans; I would never understand why they are so much into it but I admire their zeal. However, I would never understand why someone would base her entire opinion on something as important as abortion on a text that was written thousands of years ago.

Anyway, coming back to adopting contradictory thoughts, my point is, you should always keep an open mind. Opinions change and it all depends on your situation. When I was a teenager and I`m sure I must not have been the only one, the epitome of horror was the idea of getting pregnant. Even though I was not sexually active at the time, it still scared the crap out of me to hear those stories of girls who, out of love or naivete or both got pregnant and who had to leave school and take care of their kids. Getting pregnant meant the end of that youthful nonchalance characterised by teenage years. Abortion would, of course, have been an option if ever I had gotten into such a situation.

As I got into adulthood, and seriously, I mean as from last year, I started thinking that if ever I got pregnant, I would happily await the arrival of the flesh of my flesh, the blood of my blood even on the occurrence that he/she is an accident. It`s just that I am now emotionally and financially ready to take this responsibility. I am talking about myself and this might seem terribly narcissistic but it`s just that being pro-choice or pro-life is deeply subjective. It`s the kind of opinion that evolves with time and I might add, maturity.

I know some women of my age who have had an abortion and I know one of them who has decided the keep the child. To each her own opinion and I salute each one of their choices... Who am I to judge anyway?

You never actually change until you hit rock bottom

I`m not one of those who would be quoting random stuff heard on TV or read somewhere, my last post made this clear enough. But the title of this post is actually something that Earl from My Name is Earl said, not word for word. But the essence is here: "You never actually change until you hit rock bottom".

Think about it... When was the last time you decided to eat healthy or workout? Is it because you suddenly had enough of seeing the state in which you were? Did you hit rock bottom? 

When did you decide to go slow on alcohol? Is it because you had enough of making a fool of yourself at every party? Did you hit rock bottom?

So today this thought occurred to me as I was trying to save the cake I`ve baked while figuring out how I forgot cream cheese for a birthday party and how I did not notice that my dessert cream in the fridge was way past expiry date. To top it all I had to fill some official papers, which I did at the last minute, committing lots of blunders and having a hard time fixing everything. To make it short, I had hit rock bottom... Hard. 

I had gone down from being the girl who had everything in control to someone who was mildly interested in everything that was happening around her and that she had to cope with. I had become the kind of person I hate.

And so the paperwork was done and the cake was salvaged. The birthday was a success. But still... There`s this nagging feel of self-disappointment that I gotta cope with...

Why you should get your own mind

Recently (or is it because I`ve started caring?) my Twitter feed and Facebook page is being flooded by random quotes and/or "witty" thoughts about friendship, relationships or life itself. Those quotes are often accompanied by images that I gather are there just in case you didn`t get what the message is about. On Twitter, those messages take the form of "retweets" of random/anonymous/seemingly meaningless accounts such as "daily-random-in-your-face-inspiration-quotes".

What`s the deal with inspiration quotes anyway? Who the hell is really inspired by those? You know what`s my idea of an inspiration quote? It`s anything that`s going through your mind at the moment that you are inspired into doing something and that`s it. It`s not some random quote about "life being a tree or about motivation coming from the heart or happiness being the key to the soul". These are so random that they become utterly ridiculous.

So why should you get your own mind? It`s simple: If you feel the need to constantly speak what has already been spoken and to "borrow" quotes from people, at the end of the day you end up being nothing but an empty shell, deprived of all willpower and ability to form words on your own. I know said like this it sounds serious, but it really is. What makes a person (especially on the internet) are first and foremost the words that the person speaks. Get your own mind, make grammatical mistakes, it`s OK. You might not turn out to be as witty/sarcastic/funny as you intended to be but those will be your own words.

Nothing is as liberating as speaking your mind with your own words. Absolutely nothing.

The douchebag ecosystem

You might say that I`m judging but I`d say that I`m only observing. So today I was thinking about why I hate hanging out in bars and pubs or why I`ve never been to a nightclub. Apart from the fact that the only dance I`m good at is the Egyptian break-dance, the reason is, because of the people. See, those places are made up of the "douchebag ecosystem". I hope I`m the first one to have coined the term. The douchebag ecosystem is made up different species sharing one thing in common: their love for doucheiness.

Don`t cry in horror when you enter this place dressed in jeans, tees and sandals to find people dressed in their best clothes and wearing the "bitch please" expression on their faces. You`ll try to find a seat by swerving through a bunch of clown-faced hookers, Barney Stinson wannabes who figured out that by wearing a suit you`ll think they are way more successful than anyone else. You`ll also pass by the younger ones who just wanna get drunk and who don`t give a damn about who`s bringing them home.

Then in a far corner you`ll see your friends. You`ll have a drink or two, would make fun of the douches and would decide to never come back again and to meet on the beach the next time.

Why people don`t care about what`s going on in Calodyne

Lately there`s a buzz (or is it just me?) about what`s going on in Calodyne. Put briefly, some investors are constructing a hotel and pumping sand from the sea (whilst this is illegal since 2001). Quite understandably, fishermen are protesting. In an ecological viewpoint, I totally support the protests. But the point of this is not to talk about my stance. It`s to make you know why people don`t care about what`s going on.

Picture this: You live in Calodyne, you`ve got a cozy home, a huge pool, 1 sedan and 1 SUV or offroader. You live within the confines of your yard. If you wanna go to the beach, you`ve got Pereybere and that too, you wouldn`t wanna mingle with the populace. The beach at Calodyne ain`t a real beach for you. Would you care if it`s gone? No. Would you care about a damn hotel located 500m from your home? No. Would you care if there`s a strip-club nearby? No, unless if you`re a regular client. 

How to make the people care?

You see people at Calodyne value the little things that make it an awesome place. For instance take the uncoal-tarred road. They don`t want the roads leading to their home paved. It`s so cool to drive your offroader home. It makes you feel like Indiana Jones and you don`t wanna lose that. Having a hotel nearby would take that away from you, if they decided to get your street paved. Having a hotel nearby would mean changes in the region and they wouldn`t want that.

It`s all a question of perspective, dudettes and dudes, you don`t go about telling them about the ordeal of fishermen, they don`t care. Tell them about what they might lose if the hotel is constructed and see what happens.

How to get rid of an addiction

As a control freak, I tend to despise addictions. Addictions make you lose control, they sweep you off your feet and awaken your senses. They bring that massive rush of endorphin that makes you want for more. They take you to a wonderful world where nothing else ever matters. That rush is evanescent though, it fades away some days later and leaves you with a feeling of withdrawal. That`s when you go about doing stupid stuff, undermining your ego in the process, in order to feel that again.

So recently I`ve got an addiction, that`s very hard to contain. Not that I`ve tried much to contain it. But today I decided that this has got to stop. Since people usually use Mondays as a starting block, here I am dudettes and dudes... 


P.S: It`s just a chocolate addiction, the usual...

Games and fun

Today`s April fool. As much as I love fun stuff, I`ve never been able to have fun on this day. This may be attributed to the fact that I`ve never really been able to "fool" anyone on this day.
So you might guess that April Fool is not something I`ll give a try soon.

But this post is about games and I`m sure as hell going to talk about it.

Lately my game-ambitions have been very much inspired by How I Met Your Mother, yeah that TV show. It`s actually really fun to play "drunk or kid" where you tell stories of how you did something crazy  and people have to guess whether you were drunk or a kid.

Here`s one for you: Once with my best pals we played in the pirate-themed park at Caudan and I was stuck in a sort of little window, my head inside the ship and the rest stuck outside. People from outside or on the road could see me hanging there. I spent quite some time hanging there. I don`t remember what happened next. Drunk or kid?

Keli

It`s true that I haven`t written in a while and that we haven`t spoken to each other in a while. Things didn`t change and I`m happy about it.

I`m happy that we can still be crazy like in the old days and hang around like kids, not worrying, not being adults.

There`s no such thing as a "happy belated birthday"

There`s no such thing as a "happy belated birthday"

There`s either "happy birthday" ON the birthday

or nothing at all.

If people were honest enough they would instead have said:

It was your birthday yesterday/last week/month. I`ve completely forgotten about it because I don`t care enough.
Next year I will:
1. Either set notifications because I clearly would still not remember
2. Stop talking to you to avoid the awkward "I`m sorry I forgot your birthday thing".

So it`s plain simple. Either you remember people`s birthday and wish them on the day.
Or you stop giving a damn and live happily ever after.

About loving your job

When you hail from an HR background you tend to dissect everything that`s going around at your workplace and even about your own job.

Sometimes it`s difficult to decide whether you truly love your job or not. Frankly it`s not just about the perks but the perks form part of the decision. If you had a better office/desk/computer/toilet/kitchen would that make you happier? Or are you more intent on the content of your job, on the quality of responsibility you have or on the attitude of your co-workers? 

And when that moment comes, where you realise that you are happy in your workplace, that you truly love your job, is that feeling some sort of emancipation? 

Do you feel comfortable talking about your job, without have to brag or to enhance your importance/responsibilities at your workplace? 


If you do feel comfortable about your job, then you are really happy. But I don`t need to tell you about that.


Don`t know if you`ve heard about intrinsic satisfaction. It`s a basic concept about satisfaction that comes from the job instead rather than from the benefits derived from the job. 


And intrinsic satisfaction is the best sort of satisfaction ever, take it from me. 

Why I never state my stance

It pisses me to no end when people come out and say stuff like "Hey, I am not against teenage pregnancy" or "I totally support obese people" or "gays are as equal as us".

This pisses me because:
1. No one asked for your opinion. You are not the almighty decision-maker regarding who should be accepted or not.
2. If you really thought everyone was equal, you wouldn`t have had to point it out.
3. If you really thought everyone was equal, you wouldn`t have noticed the difference between Person A and Person B.

What I`m trying to say is just that when we come to the point where we don`t label people and/or refer to them by mentioning their particular characteristic (and pledging that we accept those), that would be the day where everyone would be equal.

It`s not about "accepting" others as it`s about living with them or co-existing. You are not asked to understand others or to love them. You are only asked to see them as human beings, not more, not less, just like you.

Feeling bored?

Feeling bored? Here`s what you can do...

But first, a little blah blah...

The internet is a great place to hangout. You`ve got your friends (I don`t, `cause I`m still avoiding them), you`ve got videos, images, articles and I end the list here. But sometimes it happens that you`ve run out of stuff to read, watch or drool upon. Here`s what you can do.

1. Read comments on Youtube.
There`s nothing as entertaining as a troll-fight on a Youtube video. Someone would troll about, creating havoc by posting "negative comments" and someone else (an unconditional fan of the video poster) would start replying to the troll until this gives rise to fine little entertaining mess. Ooh! I love those. If you don`t know what video to start with, try searching "Rebecca Black", but do it on an empty stomach.

2. Read reviews on Ebay
You know how when you buy something on Ebay you get to review the seller? Well, click on a not-so-top-rated seller on Ebay and read the negative and neutral comments. These tend to be really entertaining, especially when the buyers are angry.

3. Stalk people
This one is a classic and I think I should have started with it. But, in my defense, I tend to practise this less now that I`ve got some relatively more important things to do. So yeah, follow some random stranger or far acquaintance`s life on Facebook or whatever social networking dinosaur you`re into. Go through their picture, their friends` pictures until you feel that you`ve known them all your life. This tends to make you feel pathetic. That is, of course, if nothing else made you feel pathetic before.

Yeah, so here we go, dudettes and dudes. And have a merry weekend.

The Katy Perry "Smurfette" look

I know, I know... A Katy Perry look? WTF? But here`s something I never told you guys: I`m obsessed with makeup lately. Well it`s not just lately. It`s been months now. But anyway, I`ve decided to post the stuff that I make here. `Cause I gotta keep this somewhere right? So here goes: a makeup inspired by Katy Perry`s recent look as the smurfette. I love the colours she`s wearing, though they are not something you`d wear to go anywhere that`s not remotely crazy (does that make sense?)

The inspiration photo (from buzznet.com) 

And my version:

I made this look a little more "wearable" even though I did not wear this to go anywhere... yet. This look would be awesome with some nude lips.

Products used:

Cobalt blue and light blue eyeshadow from a 120 colours eyeshadow palette. (BH cosmetics)

Maybelline "Emeraude" eye pencil

L`Oreal lipstick in "Vagabond Mauve"

A few thoughts...

Ever noticed how "a few thoughts" sounds like "a few farts"? Yeah! My farts exactly! Well, anyway, today I`ve got some free time off my hands and I thought I`d share a few stuff that have been running through my mind lately.

1. Pretentious people are boring.
Pretentious people are always bragging about something, whether directly or through "complaint-bragging" and that makes them boring. I always prefer people who stand up honestly and say stuff like "I am the most intelligent person of my family/class/town/world". Well, it does sound pretentious but it might be the truth as well. So that makes you just a truth-speaker.

2. I avoid social networking sites because I`m avoiding my friends
I hate hard to maintain friendships. There are always friends who would like to "hear from you" or "meet you" or even "see pictures of your baby/pets". I know that by reading this lots of people would feel bad. But here`s why I don`t care: first, no one ever reads my blog and second if you were a true friend in the first place you`d know how I am. I like my freedom. I like to breathe in a friendship. But one day I`ll invite you over and it`ll be the most amazing friendship (read: booze) moment ever!

I`ve got a few other things to write about but I feel that right now this is enough. There`ll be enough time later to bring out the cynicism. 

There comes a time in life...

There comes a time in life when you don`t actually have anything in particular to attend to, when the word "urgent" is just some far away concept and when you have got so many time at hand that you don`t actually know where to begin. That kind of moment is freedom, I guess. And sweet freedom I have missed you!

So today I`ll be watching TV, CSI Miami, 'prolly. It`s easier when it`s already going to be on TV. Then I wanna bake some chocolate chip cookies, make a coconut pie for my mum, bake lasagnas and oh! make Prince William`s wedding cake. Kitsch I know! But you gotta admit that this cake looks awesome.

And today...

Today I feel like making a little update on this blog. It`s been a while. There`s been lots of it`s-been-a-while posts those past years, I know. 

To start with, things have not changed that much on my side. I`m still a foodie, there`s been lots of chocolates, pizzas and you name it during those past months. I`m still addicted to TV shows, various games and other weird stuff. 

But I`ve had and I`m still having a pronounced addiction for two new things and those are eye makeups and physical exercises. Oh yeah, I said physical exercises. Well you see, it`s not that bad once you get into it. It`s actually quite relaxing once you get to do it.